Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?
Band 9 IELTS essay sample
Nowadays, most nations are plagued by environmental deterioration. A lot of factors such as industrialization, rapid urbanization and deforestation contribute to this problem. Switching to greener technologies, conserving forests and enacting stricter environmental protection laws will help.
Environmental damage is actually a by-product of large scale industrialization. Factories polluted land, air and water. Of course, they created jobs and brought prosperity to people. Hence, nations all over the world promoted industries. This trend continues till date. Of course, industries are now required to adhere to environmental protection laws. Still, it is impossible for many industries to fully comply. Deforestation is another factor affecting the environment. As population grew, it became necessary to bring more land under cultivation. Consequently, forests were cleared. Deforestation not only led to the extinction of many species of plants and animals but also caused atmospheric temperature to increase. Trees absorb carbon dioxide and thus help to purify air and keep temperatures low. Hence, deforestation is one of the major causes of global warming. Urbanization is responsible too. Cities are concrete jungles with hardly any trees. Sand mining and quarrying are other factors posing a threat to environment.
Stringent laws are needed to protect the environment. It is high time people realized the dangers of environmental damage. Industries must be stopped from discharging their waste into water bodies. Those who violate the laws should have their license revoked. It is equally important to switch to greener sources of energy like solar, nuclear, hydro and wind. Thermal power stations burn coal and cause much damage to the environment. The government should also promote eco-friendly construction methods. Construction activity should be discouraged in ecologically sensitive areas. Afforestation needs to be promoted too.
In short, environmental damage has become a major concern for all countries that depend on industrialization and promote urbanization. While it is not possible for us to go back to the pre-industrial era, we have to take every possible measure to prevent further damage. Developing greener technologies, planting more trees can all help.
Analysis
Task response: 9/9
This essay addresses all aspects of the task. It answers both questions. The causes of environmental damage are discussed in the first body paragraph and solutions are suggested in the second body paragraph. The main points are restated in the conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion: 9/9
This essay makes effective use of transitional adverbs / cohesive elements. Examples are: of course, still, consequently, hence, in short
Grammatical range and accuracy: 9/9
There are simple, complex and compound sentences in this essay. Sentences are of varied lengths and constructed using a variety of sentence patterns. There are no grammar mistakes.
Lexical resources: 9/9
