“Although abuse of the system is inevitable, social welfare payments are essential to protect the rights citizens have to a guaranteed minimum income in a democratic society” Discuss.
- You should write at least 250 words.
- You should spend about 40 minutes on this.
Here is a band 6 essay on this topic written by one of our students. The examiner’s comments are also given in red. You will also find a band 9 essay below. Need help with IELTS writing? Get your essays, letters and reports corrected by me.
Analysis
You didn’t address the task. What was the topic? It was about the importance of continuing social welfare programmes in spite of the fact that they are abused. You wrote about people who were denied help. How does that address the topic? Also, you need to work hard on your grammar. Try writing shorter sentences. This essay is in the band 6 to 6.5 range.
If you have difficulty writing a discuss both sides essay, watch this video.
Please read my sample answer. It is written from the perspective of my country. Also it is a bit long. You will be able to write a similar one from your perspective.
Band 9 IELTS essay sample
There are certain needs and expenses that we cannot do away with; therefore, I agree with the argument that a guaranteed minimum income is essential to protect the rights of all citizens in a democratic country.
In almost all nations the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. The poor and the marginalized sections of the society also have basic needs. They need food, clothing and shelter. They want to send their children to school. Since many of these people lack a proper livelihood, it is essential for the government to disburse welfare payments. If the poor cannot receive social welfare pensions, their situation will become worse. Also, when people cannot meet even basic necessities, they are likely to get involved in criminal activities.
Of course, the welfare schemes are bound to be abused and there is no guarantee that the aid will always reach the needy. Even so, in my opinion, such schemes are required for the all round development of a country. Take, for instance, the case of India. Although the country has made rapid economic advancements over the last few decades, it still has millions of people living below the poverty line. India has robust welfare schemes for the poor. For example, the country’s public distribution system provides food grains and other essentials at highly subsidized rates for the poor. In fact, in many Indian states, poor families can get adequate amounts of rice or wheat for free. On the flip side, the poor are not the only beneficiaries of these schemes. In fact, millions of people living above the poverty line also receive the benefits by manipulating the system with the help of corrupt officials and politicians. As a result of this, the nation ends up spending a lot more money than it should for welfare schemes. However, abolishing welfare programmes is not the answer to this problem. If India pulls the plug on its public distribution system, thousands of people will die of hunger. So, the government continues the system in spite of knowing its limitations and with the help of new and improved technologies, the country is steadily removing ineligible people from its social benefit programs.
To conclude, just because welfare programmes are liable to be abused, it does not mean that the government should abolish them. With political will and the use of new technologies, it is possible to ensure that governmental aid reaches the right hands.
