Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Here is a band 6.5 essay on this topic written by one of our students. The comments in red colour were given by the examiner who evaluated this essay. A band 9 essay on this topic is also given below. Need help with IELTS writing? Get your essays, letters and reports corrected by me.
Analysis
The student has to use better ideas. University education is essential for those who want to achieve success in an academic career. You can’t be a doctor without going to university. In other words, it is not possible to achieve success as a doctor without a university degree. Universities provide knowledge in various subjects and also make students worldly wise. While interacting with people, it is easy to see that those who have a university degree tend to be more sophisticated. However, success does not always require this knowledge or sophistication. You don’t need a degree to become a successful actor, singer, athlete, politician or businessperson. But of course, an educated actor, singer or politician will be able to maintain their success for a longer time because people can’t cheat them that easily.
So, here the student should take the stand that university education is essential for those who need a career in law, medicine, architecture or teaching. However, it is not essential for success in general.
There are grammar mistakes too. In particular, the student has difficulty using verbs that agree with the subject.
Band 9 essay sample
According to some people, if a person wants to achieve success in life, they have to obtain a university degree. Others insist that in order to become successful, one no longer needs a degree. In my opinion, people who lack formal education can also become successful in life especially in this age of internet and social media. Still, a university degree makes it easier.
People who want to become a doctor, a lawyer or a teacher certainly need a degree. For example, a person cannot start practicing as a doctor or a lawyer without a university degree in medical science or law. Many other jobs also require a university degree. For a person who seeks success in a field that requires formal education, getting a university degree is definitely the best route. Without going to university it is not possible to acquire the expertise required to perform these jobs.
Still, there are many jobs and careers that do not require a degree. Take, for instance, the case of jobs in the field of science and technology. One does not need a degree to become a scientist or inventor. Thomas Alva Edison, one of the greatest inventors of all times, did not have a degree. Many successful scientists also lacked a degree. However, they possessed an innate talent and intelligence. Even today, in the field of computer science, while companies tend to hire employees with a formal degree in computer engineering, sometimes those who lack a degree can also get hired if they possess good coding skills. Likewise, one does not need a degree to become an actor or singer. Some of the greatest celebrities of our times debuted on social media. They possessed some talent which they showcased in front of the world with the help of the internet. While it is possible to argue that this success can be short-lived, the fact is that they were able to achieve name and fame without a degree.
In short, a university degree certainly makes it easier for people to achieve success. It is also a must for those who seek a career in medicine, law or teaching. However, it is not essential or even required for success in many other fields.
