Some people say that when deciding taxes the government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Here is a band 6 essay on this topic written by one our students with the examiner’s comments. You will also find a band 9 essay below. Need help with IELTS writing? Get your essays, letters and reports corrected by me.
Analysis
You believe that the government should invest in all areas. So, clearly express that opinion in the introduction itself. There are lots of grammar mistakes in this essay. This seems band 6 to me. Task response is okay, but you have to express a clearer opinion in the introduction.
Band 9 essay sample
According to some people, the government should spend much of the tax money on the health sector. Others insist that there are other sectors that require more funding. In my opinion, healthcare is as important as any other sector and hence requires sufficient funding.
Healthcare is becoming more and more expensive. Private companies have commercialized it and now only the rich can afford many treatment options. If the government increases its spending on public healthcare, poor sections of the society will also have access to it. People are the biggest asset of any nation. If they are healthy, they can easily contribute to the development of national economy. Unhealthy people, on the other hand, are a burden on the public exchequer. Hence, spending on public health is justified.
However, other sectors like education and infrastructure are equally important. Healthy people cannot contribute much if they are not educated. In countries like India, private schools and colleges are not affordable to poor and middle class people. Hence, a lot of children depend on government schools and colleges. If the government does not invest in education, these children will never be able to build a bright future and break the shackles of poverty. Likewise, infrastructure is important too. Without adequate public infrastructure, a nation cannot prosper at all. There are other areas such as social welfare, law and order and national security that require considerable funding.
In short, other sectors like education and infrastructure are as important as healthcare. Hence, the government should allocate enough funding for each one of these sectors. While healthy people are certainly an asset, they alone cannot contribute to the development of a nation. People need to be educated too. They should also have access to necessary facilities. Hence, health sector cannot be the biggest beneficiary of tax money.
